The Curriculum Vitae of Different-but-Fine.

19 min read

Posted 3 months ago
by Téa Smith

February 2022

“Are you okay?”

“Yes, fine, why?”

“I’ve not seen you on Twitter or YouTube for a while”.

“Because I need to start finding a way to make a living. Those things are a luxury unless they pay, and they don’t. Everyone thinks I’m crazy, or wants me to give easy answers to things, and I don’t know what the point of any of this is anymore.

It feels stitched up. I feel pretty alone. I can’t get traction. I’ve spent six months building a site that never seems to get done because I am stretched so thin. Every algorithm is against me. Honestly, I think I need to accept that I’m wrong. I’m fine though. Thanks for asking.”

“Okay, well, let me know if there’s anything I can do to help”.


“Are you okay?”

“Yes, fine, why?”

“You seem lost”

“I am, a bit, but that’s nothing new. I just exist in the fault lines and often get despondent because of it. I usually figure it out on my own and I always get back up.

Men think I’m stupid. Women think I’m mean or unwell. Academics think I’m uneducated. Business people think I am too academic. The bougies think I’m vulgar, the proles think I’m snobby. Americans and Brits dominate the internet and none of them will listen to an Australian accent.

But, yes, I am okay. I’m used to people thinking I’m crazy just for doing my job, which is (and always has been) to fight for advocate for users, encourage people to be independent and honest, and fight for the internet, and I am up against all the money and the power in the world whose interests lie in the opposite.”

<Person then explains how I am wrong and how we should work with Big Tech on the problem>

“You know I’m qualified and actually know things, and have always been ahead of Big Tech on this stuff, right?”

“How’s the Psychology degree going?

“Cool. Another thing to add that nobody will listen to me on.”

“Are you sure you’re okay? Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.”


January 2022

“Are you okay?”

“Yes, fine, why?”

“You’ve been writing a lot of Twitter threads.”

“Huh? I use Twitter to write and work through ideas out loud. Also, I believe that intervening right where people are being radicalised on social media is important. The research shows that a small intervention or pattern interrupt can have an impact on the spread of fake news, and pokes of dissonance can be effective against radicalisation.

And, because I don’t have any resources or support, I poke dissonance on Twitter to anyone who will listen. I obviously don’t use the reply function because replies are how you get banned, but I just do what I can, on any given day, to meet people where they are at and try to get them back on track. I mostly shout into the void, but I am on there in the hope that people might share or take in what I have to say.

I also try to reach and persuade influencers to think more about their role in this stuff, which is why I try to build influence even though I have no desire for any of it. I’m just doing what I think is most effective with what little resources I have. Also, now that organic reach is close to zero unless you have money, backing or established audiences from years go, you have to work 10x as hard as you used to, to even be seen.”

“So you’re just writing.”

“Yes. Something like that.”

Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help”.

“Like, Subscribe, share, become a Patron, introduce me to people who can give me more resources and support.”

“So long as you’re okay. Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.”


“Are you okay?”

“Yes, fine, why?”

“You’re taking on this dark patterns project for the election and I don’t understand why, when Google has it handled and Facebook has the ad data public. Also, Cam Wilson at Crikey reports on ad spend, you know that, right?”

“Well, yes, I do know that, but I am not focused on ad spend. I am focused on the funnels and patterns that take people off-site and then radicalise people to win elections, with no consideration of the impacts on users and the public. I am only interested in the ethical aspects of this, and making sure people know that thy are being nudged and pulled, and that might be why they are feeling alienated, paranoid, and confused.

I have a unique mix of skills and experience that make me see a problem that others don’t see, which is that nobody – including government, Google and Facebook – is incentivised to fix the real problem, because they all benefit and want it as part of their persuasion toolkit when it suits them. Let me explain.”

<Constantly interrupted and talked over whilst I try to explain>

“Oh well, you need to do it in 100 words or nobody will listen”

“But it’s complicated…”

“Well, let me know if there’s anything I can do to help”.

“Like, Subscribe, share, become a Patron, introduce me to people who can give me more resources and support. Or, I don’t know… listen to me without interrupting?”

“Are you sure you’re okay? Cool. Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.”

<At the same time>

“You need to get permission to do this project because your family’s income relies on you not making waves with your husband’s employer, who also happens to be one of the richest and most powerful men in Australia”.


“Hey, Téa, why do you abandon projects all the time?”

“Because every time I try, someone either makes me feel like shit, or like I’m crazy, or it becomes untenable because I need a roof over my head, maybe?”

“Are you sure you’re okay? Oh well, let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.”


September 2021

“Are you okay?”

“Yes, I’m fine, why?”

“This time you said you were going to be a comedian? This is why nobody listens to you anymore.”

“Yeah, well, what the fuck else am I supposed to do? Nobody is listening to me. I’m told I’m funny so maybe that’s an angle I can go for. Also, comedy is persuasive and it might be a vehicle for being on podcasts and people listening to me, finally, for once?”

“Ah, OK that makes sense. Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.”

August 2021

<Sponsored Post>

“Are you okay? Do you need someone to talk to or to listen to you without judgement? BetterHelp is what you need.”

“I’m fine, programmatic marketing bot, I am just interested in the GameStop & crypto communities, and the power of Reddit for organising (and the moves being made by the powerful against these communities). 

Something really interesting is happening, and given that I have studied online communities for 27 years, and am excited about the internet’s possibilities for the first time in a decade, and see that a significant battle is being fought.

Also, I have been chasing this weird PsyOp thing for a few years now, and I think I have cracked the playbook and am deeply worried about the implications this has for democracy.”

“What’s Reddit? An internet thing? Oh, cute. Let me know if there is anything I can do to help.”


Try BetterHelp.com where you can speak to a qualified Psychologist, via an app. Just like Uber Eats for Psychology.

“How’s the Psych training going? Once you do that you’ll finally be treated with respect, just like those therapists on BetterHelp.”


June 2021

“Are you okay?”

“Yes, I’m fine, why?”

“You started your publishing company, and honestly I am concerned that you appear to drop everything after a few months.”

“Well, yes. I am more risk-averse than I used to be, and am better at spotting sunk cost fallacies in business, after years of experience in startups I know when the writing is on the wall earlier. I had a brief moment where I thought I had a shot, before remembering who I am.

But if you must know, I built the platform. I was excited. It was a great concept and I still think I can make it work. I got everything set up and was ready to launch. It was going to be great. I was going to publish important books, important magazines, and be the change I wanted to see.

No resources or support. But that’s okay. I’m used to that. I just work, methodically, to drive organic traffic on a shoestring. I will do what I’ve always done: just work harder. No problemo.

Until I was contacted by somebody who wanted to use my company to publish US propaganda, and when I said no, he became abusive. He said that if I wanted to be “taken seriously”, I would do what he wanted. I also watched men knowingly lie and manipulate their audiences, only to call me stupid when I corrected them.

I was reminded that I was a woman in tech, and a person with no money or power, with every algorithm against me and everyone thinking I am crazy.

Same shit. Over and over again. To continue would be the crazy thing. But, because everybody thinks I am crazy and I am okay with that, I decided to cut and run faster this time as soon as it became apparent that it was a fool’s errand.

“Well, let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.”


2020

“Are you okay?”

“Yes, fine, why?”

“You’re a Trump supporter and follow Andy Ngo.”

“What the fuck. Are you okay? You’ve known me for 15 years. FFS. Everyone has lost their damn minds.”


“Are you okay?”

“Yes, fine, why? I think I’m pretty much the only person who is okay, and I think we need to be paying attention to how precarious this all is, because I understand what’s happeni…”

“Right winger! TERF! Nazi! Feminazi! Woke idiot! Anti-vax! Authoritarian! Anti-masker! Deplorable! Don’t you care about the children? Don’t you care about the elderly? Don’t you hate Nazis? Don’t you that Critical Theory is Communism? You know it’s communism, right?! You hate Uyghurs! TERF! Tankie! Dum Dum Left! Corporatist! Shitlib! Transphobe! Racist! You think you’re so smart and better than everyone! Lefty idiot! Joe Rogan watcher! Well, actually…1/348 Vol 1.”

“No, like seriously, I am saying that there’s a problem here, and…”

“Right winger! TERF! Nazi! Feminazi! Woke idiot! Anti-vax! Authoritarian! Anti-masker! Deplorable! Don’t you care about the children? Don’t you care about the elderly? Don’t you hate Nazis? Don’t you that Critical Theory is Communism? You know it’s communism, right?! You hate Uyghurs! TERF! Tankie! Dum Dum Left! Corporatist! Shitlib! Transphobe! Racist! You think you’re so smart and better than everyone! Lefty idiot! Joe Rogan watcher! Well, actually…1/348 Vol 2.”

“Oh man. Am I the only sane person here? Or have I lost my mind?”


2019

“Are you okay?”

“Yes, fine, why?”

“The stuff you talk about on YouTube makes me uncomfortable.”

“It’s just me talking about various things in my area of expertise, and learning how to perform on a live stream and overcome a crippling fear of video. My fear of video is holding me back from opportunities, nobody reads long form anymore and want a 30 second pitch for everything, so I am conquering this fear so that I can maybe distill this stuff and get better at articulating ideas. This whole culture wars thing is crazy.

I’m wrong sometimes, I’m right sometimes, but I have no editorial team or producer or resources and I would like a little praise for what I have managed to overcome and how hard I work”.

“As long as you’re okay. Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help”.

“Like, Subscribe, share, become a Patron, introduce me to people, watch my stuff.”

“Not my cup of tea, really. You really should have an editor. But I believe in you. Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help”.


2018

“Are you okay?”

“Yes, fine, why?”

“You’re talking a lot about this trans thing. Why do you hate trans people so much?”

“First, I don’t. Stop that nonsense.

Second, this feels like the same “You’re crazy” gaslighting and male violence bullshit I have been subjected to my entire life. I don’t have strong positions on the issue because I’m not qualified, but I am supporting women’s right to speak their mind without rape threats or being fired.

Third, this is an issue that sits at the nexus of a much bigger problem. I’m not 100% sure on why, or how, or the exact mechanisms in which it is happening, but the fact that those who merely point out a conflict in rights are getting death threats and losing their livelihoods, and it works, is deeply concerning. Also, some really weird cult-like stuff is coming out of Tumblr and nobody is paying attention to these kids because they’re too distracted with culture wars shit and the radicalisation on the right. It seems like a pretty serious failure of many different things in many different areas. I need to figure this thing out. Something is seriously wrong here.”

“Okay, well, let me know if there’s anything I can do to help. Privately, of course. You know. I can’t get involved.”

“Like, Subscribe, share, become a Patron, introduce me to people who can give me more resources and support. I’d study Law, but Law isn’t for me because I live in Perth and won’t graduate till I’m 48 and people really don’t get what I am doing and I’ll end up in fucking Probate or something.”

“Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.”


2017

“Are you okay?”

“Yes, fine, why?”

“You started using Twitter again and have suddenly started talking about politics”

“Well, first up, I have a degree in Politics, Legal Studies, Economics and Communications, so I am not sure why you’re surprised. I am doing what I have always done: gone where I am needed. I feel my voice is needed. Also, politics is marketing. Same skillset. People seem confused about this, but I have some ideas on what might be happening and want to bring attention to it. 

There are going to be massive legal battles over the digital landscape in the next decade. We’ve got a serious failure in several places – including our duty of care to users, rights, and potential for real harm. This is caused by a siloing of skills and the blind optimism that comes with being a tech founder (which I pointed out a few years ago when I was speaking at a few conferences). This worship of engineers at the expense of other disciplines is bad. Really bad. 

I’m thinking I should study Law because I know these issues inside out and need people to take me seriously. But, till then, I am hanging out on Twitter and trying to make sense of everything that is happening. 

Also, I nearly died this year and realised I had lost myself in corporate life and business bullshit, and I need to get back to who I am: someone who really gives a shit about people on the internet.”

“I still don’t get why you’ve been in marketing and now suddenly talking about politics. Are you okay?”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake. I’m fine”.

“Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.”


“Are you okay?”

“Yes, fine, why?”

“You haven’t written for a while”

“Yeah, I know, because everyone keeps asking me if I am okay every time I write anything that isn’t copy. I have a business to run, and I don’t want to piss off any clients. I get enough heat talking truth about the corruption in the digital industry and ethics as it is.

Also, side point, there is some stuff I have discovered in post-Trump election that I think represents a major problem with the way we’ve designed internet products. This is bad. Also, piss funny. But, also some serious unintended consequences and blind spots that we need to address or it will get worse. Cambridge Analytica are scapegoats for this, but this is far worse than that.

I’m just working through all of this and it is a lot of work. I’m fine, just working through it. You could help connect me with others who might want to fund this research.”

“I don’t understand what you mean, but let me know if there’s anything I can do to help”.


2015

“Are you okay?”

“Yes, fine, why?”

“Well, you’ve been pretty angry lately”

“No, I’m just writing. I have been through a lot this year. You know me, I process out loud.

Also, by being contrarian in my industry I can attract like-minded clients and can filter out the ones who have a tendency to be difficult and unreasonable.”

“Well, let me know if there is anything I can do.”


2014

“Are you okay?”

“Yes, as fine as I can be, why?”

“You keep vaguebooking”

“Well, my abuser seemingly has an issue with my writing, thinks everything I write is about him, and I am isolated and missing my kids, but, yeah, I definitely could use some support. I thought I was hiding it better than I was, but I was hoping you’d notice that I am not doing so great and might need someone to help.

Also, everything I write is now spun as into evidence of there being something wrong with me, because my ex’s campaign to frame me as unstable and crazy has seemingly worked with a bunch of people on Twitter who didn’t like the media attention I was getting. 

So now, when I am going through an actual hard time, I can’t reach out online, because everything is being screenshotted for the family court if I ever try to take my kids back. I don’t really have any support system now that the one I had has been taken away.”

“Well your writing makes me uncomfortable”

“Meh, I’m fine”.

“Well, let me know if there’s anything I can do”.


2013

“Are you okay?”

“Yes, fine, why?”

“You seem to hate men.”

“I don’t hate men at all. I have just been through a divorce from a man who used my children as a weapon against me in the worst possible way, and used everything I wrote on the internet as a threat that if I tried to fight for them, I would never see them again. I’ve also been on online dating sites. It’s pretty hard not to feel like the deck is a bit stacked.”

“Well, what you say is pretty out there.”

“Not really. I actually self-censor a lot, and this is mostly a piece of writing. That said, I process out loud, and the internet is a good place to express myself and find connections with like-minded people. 

Also, whilst it might come from somewhere, like all writing does, I do it because I deliberately fight against a sanitised internet, and like to be the change I want to see. I want to inspire people to be more authentic and know that they can find their people, anywhere in the world, and don’t have to suffer for being different or being themselves. I make myself a crash test dummy so that others can feel empowered to do the same. 

Also, day in day out, in the shadow of an ex who is defaming me at every turn, a bunch of people who don’t understand what I do vilifying me for doing it, and even having my writing weaponised to try to get me to accept I am mentally ill… well… yeah… I’m going to say I often feel the weight of the patriarchy right now.

Also, as a woman in tech, I am told at least three times a day that I am stupid, don’t know what I am talking about, and am overlooked at every turn.”

“Sheryl Sandberg said to Lean In and maybe stop being so negative”.

“But that only works for one type of audience, and those people are not my audience”.

“I don’t get it.”

“I know.”

“Well, let me know if there is anything I can do to help”.

“Take a shot on me? Introduce me to people? Share my stuff? Defend me rather than leave me to fight on my own?”

“I meant let me know if you need a reference”


2012

“Are you okay?”

“Yes, fine, why?”

“I don’t understand why you’re pushing for more social scientists to be in product teams.”

“Because the way you are talking about people’s data is scaring me, and you’re not seeing the implications nor the future of what you’re doing”.

“What would you know. We have this handled. I have a PhD. You’re just a designer. When I need a logo designed, I’ll be in touch.”


2011 

(at a Business event of 200+ people where I was a panellist).

“I have a question for Téa”

“Yes, go ahead!”

“Why do you swear on Twitter? Especially the C word?”

“Good question. Well, first, as a feminist who loves Germaine Greer, there is no inherent problem with the word. Second, swearing, especially in business, polarises. Social media breaks the fourth wall in many respects, and I tend to have a more utopian view, that people can finally find their crew and make a living doing it. Have you heard of the 1000 True Fans principle by Kevin Kelly? Well, I believe that the internet enables that, and you can actually get away with 100 or even 10 if you position yourself correctly.

It’s just a matter of finding those people.

When you have a clear idea of what your brand is – and more importantly – what it is not – you can use that to build more loyal audiences. So, if an influencer shares something about you, there will always be a handful of hate-readers or hate-followers. This is an indirect form of marketing that is far more effective and reduces your spend on non-converting audiences.

So, I do the ‘vulgar prole’ persona on purpose, in order to find like-minded people, and to exclude specific corporate archetypes from my audience and therefore focus my marketing around those who are likely to buy, and screen out those who are likely to cause trouble once they become a client.”

“But do you have to put it on the internet?”

“I process out loud, and the internet is a good place to express myself and find connections with like-minded people. Also, everything I just said. I do a course on this, called Trolling for Fun and Profit.”

“I don’t get it.”

“I know. But two people here do and those are who I care about.”

<Narrator voice> 

She was never invited back.


Are you okay?

“Yes, fine, why?”

“You’re on the radio offering an iPad for a husband. Also, you were on Today Tonight and your shirt was inside out. Also, that Sam Mac guy snarked on Twitter about how you compared yourself to Ricky Gervais.”

“Well, I have been to hell and back, and humour gets me through. Also, journalists have started putting all sorts of dumb shit in the paper from Twitter, so I thought I would have some fun and test a little hypothesis that I had, to refine my formula for my trolling course.

Also, I didn’t compare myself to Ricky Gervais. We were making small talk and I said I had a more subversive sense of humour, like Ricky Gervais. If anything that tweet gave me an insight into how these people operate.”

“But you look stupid and crazy! It’s embarrassing!”

“Ah well. The wrong people will think that about me anyway, and the right people will get what I am about.”

“Oh well, let me know if there’s anything I can do”

“Well you can defend me and tell people I know more than they realise, or introduce me to people who have resources so that I can continue my work on making virality a formula. Or help fund my book on this.”

“I don’t get it“

“I know”

“Well let me know if there’s anything I can do to help”.


2010

Are you okay?

“Yes, sort of, as fine as I can be at the moment, why?”

“You’ve been making off colour jokes about cancer and your dying grandmother. I don’t like it.”

“Well, we are in hell right now, and humour gets us through.”

“But do you have to put it on the internet?”

“Actually, I am sitting here next to her, and she was marvelling at the iPad. I was showing her social media for the first time. She told me to write some funny stuff of hers to put on Facebook and Twitter so she’d be on the internet forever. Sorry if that makes you uncomfortable.

Also, I process out loud, and the internet is a good place to express myself and find connections with like-minded people. Also, others who have been through the same thing have actually thanked me for making them feel better and less alone.”


“Are you okay?”

“Yes, sort of, as fine as I can be at the moment, why?”

“You’re behind on our web project and haven’t responded to emails or calls today.”

“Sorry, I have been caring for my grandmother who has a few weeks to live. It’s really hard to juggle as I am her 24/7 hospice care until we find a night nurse. My husband is disabled and suicidal and my premmie baby is a lot more work than my other two kids. It is an unusually demanding time and I haven’t been able to check and deal with email till late evenings all week.

If you could be patient with me, you know that I always deliver and this is a difficult time.”

“I want my stuff. You promised to have it tomorrow”

“And I will. I just can’t get to my emails till later tonight.”

“That doesn’t work for me.”

“I think you’re right. I don’t think this is working out. I will send you work to date and reconcile everything and off-board you instead”.

“That is so unprofessional. Just because you’re going through stuff doesn’t mean you don’t have a contract. Also, your blog is unprofessional and you are being completely inappropriate on Twitter.”

“Okay. I’m sorry you feel that way.”

“I’m not paying my bill and suing you for my deposit.”

“Okay then.”


“Are you okay?”

“Yes, fine, why?”

“You’ve been doing tweet storms and seem pretty angry. I don’t think you should be subtweeting clients like that.”

“Well, I work on my own and it can be isolating, so Twitter is my water cooler. Other freelancers hang out there and we get to have fun with the dark parts of what we do. It’s fun to just brain-to-tweet and entertain people, show them where my brain goes. It is cathartic. It’s also not that big a deal because clients know I deliver and I fire the shitty ones so there’s no harm. 

Also, you don’t have to follow me if you don’t want to.”

“But why are you so negative?”

“I’m not. I just communicate in active voice and enjoy being a bit snarky. Also, I process out loud, and the internet is a good place to express myself and find connections with like-minded people. Also, others who have been through the same thing have actually thanked me for making them feel better and less alone.”


2005

“Are you okay?”

“Yes, fine, why?”

“Well I read your blog and you were writing about stuff and sounded angry”

“Well I have a degree in political science and love the internet, and am excited about what it can do for political apathy, which is the biggest problem to overcome in a large democracy. Are you familiar with Elite Theory? I want to help drive interest and conversations in politics and the internet is marvellous.

The whole world is on here, and the possibilities to make friends, connect with other fans, and persuade people is amazing. This is a campaigner’s dream, can lift poor and isolated people out of poverty without having to be enslaved to corporations, and people can truly be themselves, independent and free from the man. It’s extraordinary”

“I don’t get it, but let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.”

“I know. You could believe me, listen to me, and read my stuff. You could also introduce me to people who want to do great things on the internet”

“I meant let me know if you need a reference when you’re ready to get a real job”.


2001

“Are you okay?”

“Yes, fine, why?”

“I read your online diary where you talked about your mother, and how you’re pregnant and it makes you worry that you’ll be like her”.

“Yeah, I write on there for my internet friends. See, I have friends all over the world and they like my writing. One in particular really likes my writing because she’s adopted and she says I am good at talking about pain in a funny way. You’re the first person I know in real life that knows about it.”

“Well, so long as you’re okay. Let me know if there’s anything I can do.”

“Well, you could not read my online diary, boss.”

“Fair point”.


1998

“Are you okay?”

“Yes, fine, why?”

“You’re meeting strangers from the internet!”

“But they’re my friends. Also, they’re my age, and I have more in common with them than I do my friends from school.”

“That’s crazy. What’s wrong with you?”


1996

“Are you okay?”

“Yes, I’m fine, why?”

“Well you have been spending too much time on the internet, for a start. What is that thing anyway? I need the phone line.”

“I’m just learning loads of stuff, hanging out, forgetting about my shitty day.

This is the place where I can just be myself, create, write, learn anything I want, and make friends around the world. 

Also, check out this cool thing I made!”.

“Okay, I don’t get it. But as long as you’re okay.”


1994

“Are you okay?”

“Yes, I’m fine, why?”

“You hang out in the media room from 7am to 8pm every day. You keep missing classes.”

“Yeah but I’m handing everything in and getting As. 

What does it matter?

If you must know, I’m hiding from Kylie, Jessica and Sarah, who follow me home, and are threatening to beat me up because I said something they didn’t like in class and they’ve been harassing me now for two years. 

Also, I have access to a computer here and my Dad probably has a bunch of creepy people over drinking. So I am just sitting here and working on radio projects, music and writing and stuff until I can go home and go to sleep without being hassled”.

“As long as you’re okay. Let me know if there’s anything I can do.”


1986

“Are you okay?”

“Yes, I’m fine, why?”

“Well you don’t want to play with the other kids and only want to read and play music”

“The other kids are boring and the girls are bullying me because I was sent to hang out in the Library.”

“As long as you’re okay. Let me know if there’s anything I can do.”

“You could take me away and give me to a rich family who cares about me.”

“Haha you’re funny. You’re okay. Let me know if there’s anything I can do.”


1985

“Is Téa okay?”

“Yes, I think so, why?”

“She doesn’t really participate in class and just stares out the window, reads or plays music at recess and lunch and doesn’t really socialise”.

“I don’t see the problem. She’s bright. She’s been reading since she was three and loves just drawing and music and reading. She needs a challenge, and finds it difficult to relate to other kids.”

“Okay, well, she has to participate more. Should we put her in Grade 3? Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.”

“Well she could do with more resources and support. I don’t see how a a kid in Year One would benefit any more socially by being put in Year Three”.

“Oh, well, that’s all we can do. Let me know if there’s anything we can do to help”.

“I could use resources and support to help her.”

“Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.


1979

“Are you okay?”

“Yes, I’m a baby, why?”

“You’ve been crying”

“Well, I am covered in shit. Maybe fix that and I’ll stop”.

“Cool. Well. You should have thought of that before you relaxed your anus and soiled yourself. 

But, by all means, do let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.”

“But I’m a baby. I’m fine. I’m just covered in shit. Get rid of the shit and I’ll be fine.”

“Oh man, that sucks. But you really should have considered that before you were born. You need to get yourself out of it, ask for help, and work harder.”

“But I’m a baby. I didn’t do anything wrong. I’m doing everything you ask of me but I just need some help on this one thing and then I’ll stop crying”.

“Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.”

“I’m so going to write about you on the internet one day. 

I will be able to express myself and find connections with like-minded people. And others who have been through the same thing will thank me for making them feel better and less alone.”

“I don’t think anyone will let you do that.

But definitely let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.”

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You're too kind :-)

FYI, I run everything financial through the checkout on Rapskally.com, which is my company. Don’t worry, it’s still me, it’s just easier for accounting for it to be all under that.

Hey there, good looking. Sorry to interrupt.

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Thanks for reading my stuff. Seriously. I’m eternally grateful. Yes, I know, subscribing means more bloody email. But do subscribe, and if you’re feeling generous, you can leave a donation (this is my company site that powers the checkout. Don’t worry, it’s still me, I just hate admin). I am completely independent and whilst support is never expected, it is always appreciated.

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