July 22, 2004

The Politics of Road Rage…

2 min read

Posted 18 years ago
by Téa Smith

I have recently started a job (yes, I ended up staying) that involves a 50 minute commute to work every day in peak hour. Before that, I tended to be 15 minutes from everywhere, and as a result had not really experienced too many bad drivers. But recently, things have changed. And, Téa being Téa, I felt the urge to apply my experiences to my understanding of Politics. So, I am going to pick on my two favourite politicians of all time (not).

Self Interested Fucktard #1: Driving one of those pretend 4WD’s, like a RAV4 or something, driving up West Coast Highway. I am doing 2kms over the limit and this guy is on my tail. I resisted the temptation to pound on the brakes just to show him a lesson… but anyway, no matter what speed the traffic is going, I notice him overtake, push in and tailgate every car that he is following. I am not even talking your lame, 1m behind tailgating, I am talking literally inches away from the car in front of him, bullying his way through.

I can’t help but think that George Bush and the other members of the American aristocracy would drive like this (that is, if they didn’t have drivers). Like this guy is so frigging important that he needs to be aggressive and bully his way in (despite the illegality). He is so much more important than anyone else — after all — on the road its every man for himself, and if YOU can’t get ahead, then its your own fault for not doing more!

Self Interest Fucktard #2 (otherwise known as a courier): Sneaky little buggers they are. Which naturally brings me to John Howard.

They sit in blind spots, waiting for their opportunity to make you crash and burn. It might take 2 mintues, it might take 6 years, but eventually, their tenacity and persisitence will pay off — because eventually everyone else just gives up and lets him ride in front of you. Then, after you finally become complacent about said “courier” — when you have swerve to miss the bastards, they curse YOU out for getting in their way in the first place.

Self Interested Fucktard #3: People with a white hat in their rear window (otherwise known as the passive-aggressive octogenarian driver…) Which, again (funnily enough), reminds me of our RSL loving Prime Minister. They’ll just keep going on their merry way — keep driving at 30km/hr because “it’s not a race”, blissfully unaware of the carnage that falls around them, or that society has actually moved on and people are much, much busier these days. Because, you see, they aren’t breaking the law. And all those young ‘uns are just speed freaks anyway.

But alas, I have decided to brave these people after all. I accept their existence, and try to incorporate my own little ways to get back at them, like turning the music up, singing at the top of my lungs… and refuse to bow to their methods.

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