Sure. Right. Whatever you say John.

You have bullied the unemployed off benefits (and therefore out of the system). You have casualised the workforce. You have increased the number of part time employees. And you have dodgied up the figures, just like your friend Malcolm Fraser did in 1976.

If people work ONE HOUR a week, they are no longer considered unemployed in formal figures. So all those 50 year olds with no super that you have forced into menial jobs are not counted. All those people that are stuck with only 5 hours of work because their greedy boss hires casuals, not people, are not counted. And all the mothers who have been pushed back into the home because of your draconian policies, contract work and family unfriendly practices are not counted. And those that have plain given up on finding a job are not counted.

On the same day that your Aboriginal Affairs minister, Amanda Vanstone, has offered funding to Aboriginal communities as long as they have daily showers (yes, it’s true — I can’t believe it either), I can’t see how your self-congratulatory backslapping is anything to celebrate.

It’s a load of bollocks, John. Whilst you do have some redeeming qualities, and you have displayed a few of them over the last couple of weeks, stop trying to bullshit people. Stop pretending that you are anything but a racist, pro-business, divisive political machine.

Have another champagne, John. Keep celebrating. Eventually everyone will wake up.