You can make a difference: Help Jessica get waxed.

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I think we can all agree that 2020 has been really tough for everyone, folx. COVID-19, job losses, deaths, unrest, destruction everywhere. Police oppression. Women still being able to do their jobs and to tweet. Children having to stay indoors and clothed. Literal murder every single day.

It’s so hard to know – as an individual feeling helpless in a world full of oppression and bigotry – what you can do to spread joy in the world.

Well, here is an opportunity to do something small, and help out someone who is having a really tough time. So tough, she’s having to again sue for damages after having her life destroyed by TERFs.

We need your help, men and vulva owners.

Jessica – LGBTQ Hero, Women’s Rights Campaigner, Mentor, Influential Shegasm Reviewer, disabled woman down on her luck, needs enthusiastic volunteers to help get her unlimited waxing. Whatever gender you identify as, if you find yourself wanting to give back and love to pamper others, Jessica could really use your help.

You don’t need experience, or skill, just a whole bunch of enthusiasm and willingness to pour hot wax on her female scrotum.

If you aren’t able to volunteer in person, we’d still very much love to hear from you (in the form of cash), because the extremely powerful and notoriously cashed-up organisations of mothers, feminists and jobless women, who are backed by the International Network of Powerful Lesbians, and supported by the Alt-Right and the TERF Industrial Complex are mobilising and getting ready to further victimise a woman who just wants to pee.

Jessica filled out the form. It’s THE LAW, so we’re going to need your help to make sure more people who like jokes get charged with hate crimes, and to purchase rats.

All you need to do is consent.

  • Qualifications and training not required. We would prefer to provide training.
  • Gender Identity optional
  • Must be located in Vancouver, B.C. or willing to travel at own cost.
  • As an inclusive group, people with disabilities that make it difficult to accurately tell temperature by touch will be highly regarded
  • Gloves, a wooden spoon and/or gag, restraints and brain bleach will be provided.
  • Schedule flexible, but we want to make sure that she gets all the waxing she needs. Preferably hourly.

How to Apply

Please submit your application in the comments with 100 words or less, why you would like to volunteer.

Disclaimer for the offended: like this person’s mockery and abuse of the laws intended to help others… this is a joke. I’m a humourist. I know we don’t give a fuck about comedy anymore, but this is a disgraceful joke, because the issue itself is disgraceful and serious. If you’re offended by this and not the behaviour, look at yourself. Also, harden up and ‘educate yourself’. Peace.

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