….and drives the nurses nuts. And eats highlighters.

That got your attention, didn’t it?

Well, you may have heard a little rumour that I was dead, or sick, I dunno, I forget (hee one of my favourite Krusty lines that one)

I personally think that Jason is full of shit. I just went to sleep on the 17th of July and woke up yesterday hurting and Lebanon had been blown halfway to shit. That makes much mores sense in MY head anyway! That’s ME that they keep disrespectfully replaying in a stretcher because the meeja is too ethical to show a corpse over and over again. Never. And I had most certainly been a victim in the Jerusalem blasts because I woke up in the ICU. Yep. That’s what happened and I am sticking to it.

Think about it. When I had Mina, the World Trade Centers were attacked. When I had my gall bladder out, the bali bombings occurred. When Jules was born, George Bush was still president, and now this. Think about it.

Either that or I suffered a very rare complication of stomach surgery and have been battling that. Not sure.

Anyway, I am sitting here right now, taking an hour to type. I have lost some of my gross motor skill and fine motor skill and have a LOT of pain from my collapsed lung. Thy physio guy comes in and beats me up twice a day for this, I am incontintnet and cannot wipe my own arse, and let me remember to tell you about why a nurse calls me Starburst. Probably tomorrow — it’s a little indignified but was probably the funniest thing ever.

Just had a chat with the beautiful nurse who took care of me after the first surgery. My God, nurses are the single greatest invention ever. Next is the Doctors who spend 15 years of their like studying so they can save my life. And then there’s my amazing internet friends, real life friends and family whose outpourings of generosity of well wishes got me through my darkest hours and still will. I also always believed that my deceased grandfather was looking over me. He always said he’d look after me and now I believe him. I am a very lucky woman.

I just had some good news. I am officially the poster child for miracle healer. All I need to do now is wait for a 5–20mm hole in my stomach to heal, which basically means fluids and food via IVs for a week and lots of rehab. But no more surgery, possibility of the infection returning but they have me on a steady diet of antibiotics that minimize it.

I am by no means out of the woods. I have a lot of work to do and pain to endure but I am tuff. Thanks everyone, you willnever know what you mean to me.

For those that are interested, I am at SJOG Subiaco. PLEASE do not call me or visit and respect my privacy but by all means, if you wanna send me a card, that’s fine!!

Highlighters? Well, that is a fluoro drink I have to swish in my mouth because i am nil by mouth. stops my teeth falling out of something….

and now the morphine calls. nighty nighty.